F4.

                Cats are the worst animals to have ever domesticated. Why did people even do it in the first place? How could they have possibly been useful to ancient man? It’s not like they were great for protection. Picture yourself living in a prehistoric, nomadic tribe. Now imagine that one night you’re all siting around a fire when another tribe comes and attacks you, and all you have are a bunch of useless cats. And to make things worse these people were smart and tamed a pack of those ancient wolf-dogs that probably had bear genes mixed into their DNA. Now it’s a classic battle between cats and dogs. What could your cats do to help you? Nothing, the answer is nothing at all. While you and all of the important members of the tribe are fending off the hoard of attackers and their wolf-bear-dogs, all of the cats peed in you tent and ran away. Now fast forward 12,000 years. You’re sitting at home, all alone when a couple of armed burglars break into your house. You have no guns around, but you do happen to have a cat. So what do you do? You call the police and hide under your bed where you find out that your cat took a dump in your shoes before fleeing the scene. So here you are hiding under your bed, thinking you’re going to die, the smell of poop is overwhelming and you begin to think: “What if I had gotten a dog instead?” What if you had gotten a dog instead? So now I want you to imagine the same scenario, but instead of a cat, you have a dog. So what would Lassie do? Lassie would tear that guy’s face off.  But as I am typing this I’m looking at my dogs and thinking that they would never do any of this. Honestly, the best pet to have is a goldfish; they don’t eat much, they stay out of the way and they won’t poop in your shoes. 

F2.

My top three favorite movies are Die Hard, Step Brothers and Anchorman. Die Hard is about a NYC cop who flew out to Los Angeles to see his wife, but when he gets there, he soon gets caught up in a hostage situation and must fight German terrorist… without any shoes. It is one of my favorite movies for a lot of reasons. My main reason for liking it, however, is that like all other 80’s action movies it has at least twenty good one-liners, such as “yippee ki ay….” The first Die Hard movie was really the only good one though. There weren’t any good ones after that.

                My second favorite movie is Step Brothers.  It is about two grown men who live with their parents and must live together after one’s father marries the other’s mother. At first both men can’t stand each other, so they play tricks on each other to prove who the alpha male is. My favorite scene was when they both went into an interview for a job cleaning bathrooms, wearing tuxedoes. Needless to say they both failed miserably. Will Farrel, wqho played Brennan Huff, was perfect for this movie because it was an excuse for him to act like a man-child, something he does best.

                My third favorite is another Will Farrel movie called Anchor Man. This one is about a 1970’s news crew that only consists of men, but because of changing times the station decided to add a female news caster to co-host the news with Will Farrel. My favorite part was when all of the guys from Will Farrel’s TV station got in a street fight with the guys from other stations. Steve Carrell’s character, Brick, even killed a couple people with a grenade and a trident. Out of four stars I would give this movie three and a half.

F1.

                My favorite book is A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess. It is about a fifteen year old boy named Alex who is a member of a street gang in futuristic England. They would go out at night and steal, fight and drink. Eventually his gang turned on him and left him for the police after an unsuccessful home invasion.  He was then arrested and sentenced to 14 years in a harsh prison. After two years in jail, Alex was offered a chance to get out early. All he had to do was go through an experimental “reform treatment” and he would be set free. Not knowing what he had gotten himself into, he agreed to the terms and began the treatment. The purpose of the treatment was to strap him into a chair and force him to watch ultraviolent videos that were played with the music of Mozart and Beethoven for several hours each day until he became sick. Once the treatment was complete they would send him back into society and if he heard classical music or came into contact with anything violent, he would become violently sick and incapable of misbehaving, and that’s exactly what happened to him. Later in the book, Alex becomes homeless and finds himself living in the house of a man whose wife was murdered by him and his gang. The man soon found out who Alex was and locked him a room where he was exposed to classical music. The pain it made him feel caused him to jump from the window in an attempt to kill himself. He ended up surviving the fall and learned at the hospital that the people who gave him the “reform treatment” had undid it. For a short time Alex went back to his old ways, but realized that it was time to give it up and start a new life.

                What I liked about A Clockwork Orange was that it was suspenseful, adventurous and full of danger and violence. However, what I didn’t like about it was the slang the characters invented because it made the book difficult to read.

E2.

                My favorite music genre is rock. What I like about it is its diversity. There are all kinds of forms of rock such as classic, metal, acid, alternative and punk. Most bands have their own style and sound. Some other genres are not as diverse. To me all country music sounds exactly the same. The singers have the same voices and they sing about the same things, which normally involve a tractor. This is why I can’t stand listening to it for more than five minutes. With Rock, however, if you compare a band like Santana to a band like The White Stripes, you will find that they are both very different in the style and influences of their music.

                Some of my favorite bands include The Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Beastie Boys, Tom Petty, Jack White and Pink Floyd. One of my favorite songs by The Red Hot Chili Peppers is “Can’t Stop” and Jack White’s new album Blunderbuss is one of his best albums in years. What I like about the Beastie Boys is that their lyrics are smart and funny, like in “Paul Revere” and “No Sleep Till Brooklyn”. Tom Petty may be the ugliest man alive, but what he lacks in his looks, he makes up for in his music. My favorite song of his is “Mary Jane’s Last Dance”.  As for Pink Floyd, their music is sometimes weird. Their songs incorporated strange techniques and have a darker vibe to them, which is why I like them. One of their greatest songs, I think, is “Dogs” on their album, Animals. I also like The Dark Side of The Moon, but there are definitely better Pink Floyd Albums. Rock n’ Roll is the best genre of music and there is nothing you could say to make me change my opinion.

E4.

                A common debate between my friends and I at lunch is whether or not Burger King is Better than MacDonald’s. I am on the side that firmly believes that Burger King is the superior fast food restaurant. First of all, their food tastes better. Their cheese burgers are way less greasy. If you go to MacDonald’s the wrapper is always soaked in grease. Their french fries are better too. They are better because they use enough salt. In the last few years the quality of their fries has sharply decreased ever since they decided to make their menu healthier. Also Burger King provides more options. When BK says “have it your way”, they mean “have it your way”. There are 256 different ways to order a whopper. I will admit that MacDonald’s has a better breakfast menu. Their Egg Macmuffins and breakfast burritos are better than anything Burger King has. Another reason why Burger King is better is because they serve onion rings. The best experience at Burger King is when you order a box of their French fries and you find an onion ring at the bottom. It makes your day. This doesn’t happen at MacDonald’s. Also their sandwiches are bigger and cost the same as one from MacDonald’s. Lastly I like that most Burger Kings give you free, unrestricted access to the soda fountain. This is good because it means there are free refills. Also I sometimes like to mix my drinks. This way I don’t have to feel weird for ordering a large mix of root beer, Pepsi and Sprite. I can also control the amount of ice that gets put into the cup. I’ve noticed that at places like MacDonald’s where they fill your drink for you, they tend to fill your cup all the way with ice so they use less pop. This is all undeniable proof the Burger King is better than MacDonald’s. 

E3.

                Watching the Bills lose every weekend has made me think about how tough it is to be a fan of Buffalo sports. Almost every professional sports team in Buffalo has a losing record. The Sabres can’t make it past the second round in the playoffs, while the Bills haven’t even been there since 1999. However, the Bison’s are an okay team, but nobody actually cares about minor league baseball. The Bills, in my opinion, are the most disappointing team. Every game they look like they’ll win until the second half. That’s when they always screw it up. It happens all the time, someone either fumbles the ball or Fitzpatick throws an interception. In previous seasons the Bills have won the first five of their games only to lose the rest of them. Then to make it worse, they promise to add new players that will save them in the post season. Some of these players include T.O. and Mario Williams. Neither of these players has made a difference in their time on the Bills. T.O. didn’t seem too motivated to do anything, especially when he didn’t play in a game because he “woke up sore”. As for Mario Williams, he hasn’t done anything impressive, but he has made some big plays. It is difficult to be a Bills fan, but because they lose so much it becomes a lot more exciting when they do manage to win. There best game in the past five years was last season when they beat the Patriots. Before then they haven’t beat them since 2003. As hard as it is to be a fan of the Bills or any other Buffalo team, I’m proud to be one. In my opinion these teams have the best fans. The fact that people still want to come see them play says enough.  

E2.

                Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, behind Christmas and New Years’. My family doesn’t really have any specific traditions for the holiday, but this is how the day will usually unfold. Every thanksgiving morning we all sleep in and watch TV. They always play the best TV shows on Thanksgiving. The one exception might be the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I wouldn’t watch it if you paid me, it’s just terrible. Spike sometimes plays Band of Brothers, which is a great show. At around two o’clock my mom starts to prepare for dinner. She is responsible for making the squash, apple pie, and mashed potatoes to bring to my grandparents’ house. We always go to my grandparents’ house at five o’clock. When we get there we watch the football game and wait for everybody else to arrive. In total there are about nine people who come, me, my parents, my two older sisters, my uncle and of course my grandma and grandpa. My uncle, for reasons unknown to me, is always an hour and a half late. It’s a personal tradition of my brother to make fun of my uncle on holidays, and for some reason he is especially mean on thanksgiving. One year he almost made him cry. His face got bright red as he went into the other room. I thought he had taken it too far, but my mom and grandpa were laughing. Anyway, once my uncle does show up we all sit down to eat. For dinner we always have turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, squash and cranberry sauce. For dessert there is apple pie, pumpkin pie and birthday cake. We always celebrate my mom’s birthday on Thanksgiving. I like pumpkin pie the most. After dinner my mom opens her birthday presents. That’s pretty much how thanksgiving goes for my family. 

E1.

                My favorite holiday is Christmas. Most people who say that Christmas is their favorite holiday say that they like the extra time they get to spend with their family and how Christmas represents the brotherhood of man. Both of these statements are true, but it’s not really why most people prefer it over other holidays. I think people just say that to sound unselfish. Think about it, the main themes of most holidays are more or less the same; be good to other people, be thankful for your family and be thankful for what you have. They just have different histories behind them. So why is Christmas a consistent favorite among Americans? The real reason behind people’s love for Christmas is the gifts they receive. This at least holds true for most people. To be fair, there are some people who genuinely love the feeling of togetherness and practice good will toward all men, and that’s great. However, Christmas is my favorite holiday because of the free material happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but I love them a lot more when I get that new video game I’ve been waiting all year for. The best part of Christmas is waking up to a stack of presents under the tree. I also enjoy Christmas dinner. I like Christmas dinner more than any other dinner in the year. Every year we go to my grandparent’s house at about five o’clock. When we get there we normally sit around, talk and wait for my uncle to arrive, who is always an hour late. Once everyone is there we sit down to eat. Our Christmas dinner consists of prime rib, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and pie. After dinner it is time to open more presents. My grandparents always give great presents. That is why Christmas is my favorite holiday.